I'm Overweight and My Boyfriend's Not. Big Freaking Deal | Love Sex - Yahoo! Shine

"I'm Overweight and My Boyfriend's Not. Big Freaking Deal | Love Sex - Yahoo! Shine: My boyfriend Ali is 5'10" with friendly blue eyes, a dimpled smile and a fit, muscular body. He's someone you'd expect to see with a really hot, thin woman...not an overweight girl like me.

We've been dating for 18 months, and wherever we go—whether we're walking hand in hand through the mall, airport or down the street in his hometown (Glasgow, Scotland) or mine (San Jose, California)—we get confused looks that say, He can do better than her!"

Tarotize: The Menopausal Witch Spread

I've been following Lisa Floyd for awhile now. I think she has solid, insightful advice on oracles and the Tarot, all very healing as well as direct. Not surprisingly, I've been experiencing synchronicities while reading her blog, including this link I found this morning when I went to check:Tarotize: The Menopausal Witch Spread. I haven't tried it yet but am looking forward to what this spread reveals. From her blog:

You call me a witch as if it's a bad thing..."

Writing about my own perimenopausal angst over on the Seer Pathways blog yesterday, I realised that someone needed to make a Tarot Spread about a woman's four ages. Because as my friend, Pip Miller, over at As You Wish, pointed out - the Moon has four phases, not three, and the stage that we enter during perimenopause is neither Mother nor Crone... It's Queen!

There is a Swedish word commonly used about menopausal women: klimakteriehäxa

It literally means menopausal witch and it's used as a put-down (no extra points for guessing that!), adding to the pain of women going through the change. I mean - could we be any more unsupported by society!? We're "past our prime" and have little value now that we can no longer bear children and patriarchy does not mince words on that one!

Beauty is the face of a younger woman. Every magazine cover tells us that much.

Yes, I do believe that menopause is a wake-up call to women who don't believe or are not aware that we still live in patriarchy and that very ancient power structures still determine our value as women. Hence it becomes our task to empower ourselves.

'My Boss Told Me My Hair and Makeup Were Holding Me Back' Jezebel.com

I realize in probably the "real world" this is absolutely true. I just can't relate; I've always avoided, or chosen, another path. Fortunately, where I live, combined with the job I have -- and the union -- I'm kept from ever having to experience this total bizarre bullshit. Also, I'm close to retirement and don't give a damn.

Rosalind Russell, His Girl Friday 1940

In many ways what Jezebel went through is for the reasons stated: getting ahead, and the corporate world rewards those who look the part. But another part of this is simply the game of control. I've had crummy jobs that paid minium wage or less, if you were in the food industry, since tips were considered part of your wages. I worked in places that held inspections. One chain restuaurant had us -- adults, mind you, -- line up while a female corporate executive walked up and down, making the most personal and rudest of comments about our hair, faces, looks, size, breasts, jewelry, make-up, you name it. I was told once by a male boss to "wear a bra" -- I was! -- and from then on he made it a point to have me stand off in a corner while he looked at my chest for five mintues to make sure I was wearing a bra. Oh I could go on but you get the picture.

My Boss Told Me My Hair and Makeup Were Holding Me Back

You're Either Too Skinny or Too Fat But You're Never Right...

Between the ages of 21 and now (58) my weight has varied a lot. I've been 100 lbs, I've been 220. Now I'm at an all right weight; my doctor is reasonable (maybe her being female has something to do with that, I don't know) and realizes that a post menopausal woman who's struggled with weight literally her entire life isn't, nor should be, 98 lbs. She'll be satisfied, as will I, if I lose between 15 and 20 pounds. I'm working on it and already have lost a few. I'm not "on a diet" but watch I don't overeat, eat small meals throughout the day, protein, lots of iced drinks and water, of course no sodas. Just basic "works for me" stuff.

So, I've been all these contrasting weights all my life, and no matter what my weight, someone, somewhere, always had a comment to make! Sometimes, even strangers! I was too skinny: what's wrong with me, I need to put on weight, I'd look better and would have boobs if I gained weight, etc. Or, I'm too fat, what's wrong with me, why don't I lose some weight, just use will power, etc.

Weight. Something others feel is perfectly acceptable to comment on, even if they don't know you (though whether they do or not is none of their business.) Weight. Something that is always, always, never good enough. If you were a size 20 and got down to a 12, not good enough. Someone else will come along and tell you, unasked, what they think of your weight. A size 5, too skinny, not good enough.

Now I feel pretty comfortable although I want to lose and that's my own business. I'm not depressed about it or beat myself up. And -- maybe this comes from age -- when someone does make a comment about my weight I say, politely, it's none of their business, and I ask them why they're concerned. That usually shuts them up, after a few stammerings about "just trying to help" and "concerned about your health," etc. Sometimes it's a "Wow, don't be so defensive." Feh. You brought it up.

I just remember that, no matter what weight I or you may be, there's always someone who thinks you're not the right weight. You can't satisfy everyone, and you shouldn't try to satisfy anyone, except yourself. :)

BBC News - Japan's women footballers irked by Olympic flight seating

BBC News - Japan's women footballers irked by Olympic flight seating

Members of Japan's women's football team have complained about having to fly economy class to the Olympics while the men's team were in business class.

The women, strong contenders for gold, flew premium economy to Paris. The men are not expected to win a medal.

The article notes that the agency responsible for the upgrade is the "Japan Football Assciation" and the seat upgrade for male players "was in recognition of their professional status..."

Love this!

I had been thinking of writing a long rambling post about that, but really this says it all. :-)

In Pursuit of my Inner Pin-up: What's Wrong With Our Bodies, Anyway?

Great post about the female body image and expectations, then and now:In Pursuit of my Inner Pin-up: What's Wrong With Our Bodies, Anyway?

A Definition

Thanks to Iggy on FB for this image!

Bitches and Lesbians

Reading Regan's post over at WOE brought to mind something I had forgotten over the years - the attitude of certain men to rejection.

I remember back when my girlfriends and I would go out to nightclub type places, there were certain men that if you turned them down for a dance or in someway let them know that you just weren't interested - you were automatically a bitch and/or a lesbian.

It doesn't only happen in places like nightclubs either.  I remember back several years ago I was in the video section of Albertsons looking for a movie to rent.  This guy asks me a question, something along the lines of wanting to know if I had seen a movie he was thinking about renting.  I answer him and he asks me a few other things (related to movies) which I answer.  I am not being overly friendly, just answering his questions.  Then he suddenly asks me if I want to go home with him and watch movies.  WTF?  I tell him no, that I have been in a relationship for many years and we live together.  He says, "but your not married."  And yes, that is why on facebook and other places I often check the marriage box because to some men it only counts if you have a paper.  Anyhow, so I make myself more clear in that going to his house is NOT going to happen.  At that point this guys flips out on me, calls me a bitch, lesbian and so on, throws down his movie and stomps out of the store.  I was terrified he would be in the parking lot and try to abduct me or something and I had one of the big guys that work there escort me to my car.

And men like Henry Makow continue to teach men that this attitude is OK.  If a woman doesn't want you then there is obviously something wrong with her and in most cases it is because she is a lesbian/jew/commie.  Well, and with men like that it does make being a lesbian seem much more attractive. :-)

Girls' Shape Ups X F - Mary Jane - SKECHERS Official Site

Skechers is now targeting preschoolers and grade school girls with their shape up type shoes. Messaage: you're never too young to start obsessing about your body or feeling like a huge bag of dung for not having the right body image. They're $50.00 which is not even in the equation for a lot of families; these days, or, ever...

Girls' Shape Ups X F - Mary Jane - SKECHERS Official Site

1959 Ad for Little Girls

 I don't know what's creepier, the ad itself, the use of the word "squeal," the "lace lavished" design, the little girl's strappy, heeled sandals, or that it comes in "Christmas red." Christmas red?
(Thanks to Boing Boing for item.)

Mad Makow: 'It's OK to be a Woman!'

My favorite madman, Henry Makow, inspired once more by the promises Spring brings, has reposted his 2008 article It's OK to be a Woman! Whew, now that I know it's okay, I can relax. I was getting worried ... of course, I don't count, since I'm over 50 and don't have children. But to young women Makow advises:

You are in the Springtime of your life. Just as flowers blossom now, the years 18-26 are when you are at the height of your fertility and most attractive to males. This is the time when you must marry and have children if you want to be surrounded by loved ones when you are older. We are part of a natural cycle and we can't get a raincheck from nature...

Do not compete with other women on the basis of sex. Let the sluts have the sex.  You are looking for a permanent lifetime commitment. Therefore cultivate the qualities and skills desirable in a wife and a mother.

Oh, there's so much more, including sinister ravings about lesbians, Jews, and the Illuminati (yes! all in the same article! I know!) and I might rant on the rest here or elsewhere, probably Women Of Esoterica. But for now, it's time to get out those pretty dresses and the ironing board, curl your hair, and charm the lads!

Miscarry? You're a Murder Suspect

Georgia state representative Bobby Franklin has introduced a bill requiring police to treat women who've miscarried as murder suspects:

Franklin wants to create a Uterus Police to investigate miscarriages, and requires that any time a miscarriage occurs, whether in a hospital or without medical assistance, it must be reported and a fetal death certificate issued. If the cause of death is unknown, it must be investigated. If the woman can't tell how it happened, than those Uterus Police can ask family members and friends how it happened. Hospitals are required to keep records of anyone who has a spontaneous abortion and report it.

Joe. My. God.: GEORGIA: Wingnut GOP Rep Wants Police To Investigate All Miscarriages

Seven Year Old Girl Bullied for Being Star Wars Fan; Fans Give Support

Seven year old girl was being bullied at school for loving Star Wars, and having a Star Wars water bottle because Star Wars is "for boys." Amazing little girl: she's adopted, and has had to go through some difficult things in her short life, but she has a strong spirit. Star War fans in the cyber world sent their support, and for the rest, read here: Internet rallies behind teased Star Wars girl

Mad Henry Makow and Women in Jeans

Henry Makow, or "Mad" Makow, as I like to call him, is ... well, ... hmm. He's a pundit actively promoted by Jeff Rense, a Christian, but he's Jewish, he's the "inventor of the board game Scruples," he's a right wing, Illuminati fearing, paranoid bigot, homophobic and misogynistic male, stuck in a Twilight Zone version of the 1950s. His latest rant is an "annual update" about women in jeans. Every year he republishes his article Female Gender Confusion is in the Jeans,  with some tweaks.  It's funny, and would be even funnier, if it weren't for the fact Makow is serious, deadly so, and that he has fans. Admirers. Men, and women, who agree with him. Scary, that is. Be sure to read the comments after his post at his site; many are from women.


He opens with a quote from Deuteronomy, so that tells you something, then proceeds to enlighten us as to what it is about jean wearing women that is so wrong:

Jeans are a fitting feminist symbol. They are farm workers' and miners' clothes. Feminism is an invention of the central bankers who also created and financed the socialist and communist movements to control people.

Makow is an anti-Semite, and uses code words for Jew like "central bankers" a lot. One of his pet theories are that Jews, er, bankers, invented feminism to destroy men and take over the world.

Makow offers advice to men, warning them of jean wearing pinko commie lesbian feminist women:

Men, a woman wearing jeans is a red flag that you might be dealing with "GID" --"gender identity disorder." Her jeans are saying: "I don't want to be a woman. I don't want to look good for men. I fear and distrust men. I want male prerogatives. I want to look like a man. I want to be a man."

He weaves all this into Stalinist Illuminati take overs, you just have to read it to see for yourself. He ends with this:

There is nothing more beautiful than a women wearing a summer dress. I can still remember a young woman I saw five years ago wearing a frock. That's how powerful femininity is. Let's not let highly-paid pious feminist and lesbian "change agents" destroy it. It's time for real women to relegate jeans to garden or farm work.

Did he just say "frock?" I haven't heard that term since I was a kid when my grandmother used it, and I'm old!

Makow's website is savethemales.com. Yep, "save the males." Oy.

Saudi woman blasts clerics in TV contest Her recitation on the show brings cheers, death threats

A very brave woman! Hissa Hilal, a poet, verbally and creatively attacked the religious controller with her art. Wearing black from head to toe, only her eyes could be seen, she read her poem on national television:

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates - It was a startling voice of protest at a startling venue. Covered head-to-toe in black, a Saudi woman lashed out at hard-line Muslim clerics' harsh religious edicts in verse on live TV at a popular Arabic version of "American Idol."

Well, not quite "American Idol": Contestants compete not in singing but in traditional Arabic poetry. Over the past episodes, poets sitting on an elaborate stage before a live audience have recited odes to the beauty of Bedouin life and the glories of their rulers or mourning the gap between rich and poor.

It was on this popular show she read her poem, which was:

a blistering poem against Muslim preachers "who sit in the position of power" but are "frightening" people with their fatwas, or religious edicts, and "preying like a wolf" on those seeking peace.

Her poem got loud cheers from the audience and won her a place in the competition's finals, to be aired on Wednesday.

It also brought her death threats, posted on several Islamic militant Web sites.

Her poem was seen as a response to Sheik Abdul-Rahman al-Barrak, a prominent cleric in Saudi Arabia who recently issued a fatwa saying those who call for the mingling of men and women should be considered infidels, punishable by death.

But more broadly, it was seen as addressing any of many hard-line clerics in Saudi Arabia and elsewhere in the region who hold a wide influence through television programs, university positions or Web sites.

It's encouraging to know Hilal received such praise and scores for her poem:
Hilal's 15-verse poem was in a form known as Nabati, native to nomadic tribes of the Arabian Peninsula. She criticized extremism that she told AP is "creeping into our society" through fatwas.

"I have seen evil in the eyes of fatwas, at a time when the permitted is being twisted into the forbidden," she said in the poem. She called such edicts "a monster that emerged from its hiding place" whenever "the veil is lifted from the face of truth."

She described hard-line clerics as "vicious in voice, barbaric, angry and blind, wearing death as a robe cinched with a belt," in an apparent reference to suicide bombers' explosives belts.

The three judges gave her the highest marks for her performance, praising her for addressing a controversial topic. That, plus voting from the 2,000 people in the audience and text messages from viewers, put her through to the final round.

Stating the obvious

If you pose for a photo you can't later say that photo is sexist, as though it is someone else's fault. You POSED for it bimbo!

Dealing with Trolls at The Bird’s Brain

This comment left at Dr. Kiki Sanford's blog is right up there in the top ten most sexist blog comments I have ever read. Quite possibly #1 and not just sexist, but also racist.
Dealing with Trolls at The Bird’s Brain

What Tina Fey Wants

Just an interesting bit from the Tina Fey interview --

Around the same time, Fey saw an entertainment reporter on TV say that Palin had been gracious toward Fey, but Fey hadn’t been gracious toward Palin. “What made me super-mad about it,” Fey says later, “was that it seemed very sexist toward me and her. The implication was that she’s so fragile, which she is not. She’s a strong woman. And then, also, it was sexist because, like, who would ever go on the news and say, ‘Well, I thought it was sort of mean to Richard Nixon when Dan Aykroyd played him,’ and ‘That seemed awful mean to George Bush when Will Ferrell did it.’ And it’s like, No, that’s not the thing. This is a comedy sketch on a comedy show.” “Mean,” we agreed, was a word that tends to get used on women who do satirical humor and, as she says, “gay guys.”

“I feel clean about it,” she says. “All these jokes were fair hits.”

read the rest here --
What Tina Fey Wants: About Us: vanityfair.com

Palin Repo

I am no fan of Sarah Palin's, not one bit. But what her own people are doing to her now is disgusting; they've thrown her to the wolves (sorry, that was in bad taste; nothing funny about her support of killing wolves) -- aside from all the backpedaling her own party is doing to her, they've sent a GOP lawyer to Alaska to repossess the clothes bought for her during the campaign.

The Huffington Post has some good things to say about this.

(And what is it about Republican women in high places and stiletto heeled, shiny black boots?)